A lot of times employers come to me discussing problematic behavior with one of their employees. Parents come to talk to me about problematic behavior with their children. Spouses talk to me about frustrations with their partner. As it seems to go, the person comes to me and says no matter what I do, it just keeps getting worse and worse and worse. The person’s behavior just keeps continually being bad. Sometimes I work with people who are being stalked by a jilted lover, an angry former employee who won’t let it go and they say “How can I make this stop? How can I get rid of this person?” And I ask them, do you have a dog? Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. When they do, I say “do you ever feed the dog at the table?” They usually say no, I never feed the dog at the table. So I ask them – why don’t you feed the dog at the table? And they say, if I do, the dog will keep coming back. And I say, is that bad? And they say, well yes, it’s annoying. So I ask them, what happens once you feed the dog at the table? read more…